Remote work, ongoing conflicts around the social justice movement, and mounting stress have placed increased importance on the art of the emotional check-in, particularly for DEI practitioners. But check-ins are hard â specifically for professionals struggling under the weight of their own concerns.
Tactics can provide a level of relief so we requested guidance from two professionals known for effective and powerful check-ins: Tedi Parsons, CEO of The Professional Forum, and Liva R.J., a leadership coach specializing in emotional intelligence.
âI think we have entered a new era in many respects,â says R.J. of DEI-oriented check-ins after the death of George Floyd. âI think a level of thoughtfulness will remain.â
Parsons and R.J. posited that while not all approaches to check-ins need to be the same, leaders who excel at digital check-ins all tend to follow the four following pieces of advice:
- Schedule emotional checks or explicitly use them to bookend appointments using a âcheck-inâ and âcheck-outâ system. Assume that itâs going to take a second for people to articulate their feelings and make sure they donât feel rushed. âWhen working with individuals and clients in the DEI arena, I always make sure everyone has time to âunpack,ââ says Parson.
- Play extremely close attention to body language â both your colleagueâs and your own. âSomeone can say things in a nonchalant way, but their body is strained,â says R.J. âWhen I spot such signs of hidden or unconscious distress, I slow down my breathing, thereby inviting the person Iâm speaking with to do the same. And I ask if there is something else, related or non-related, that theyâd like to talk about.â Take note of what seems to usettle employees so you can observe trends over time.
- Donât leave on a sour note. This is specifically important because the check-in might be the last interaction a colleague has for the day. âBefore we say our goodbyes, I make sure nobody is leaving in a bad place or space,â says Parsons. Itâs important to focus on this because social behaviors that emerge in person â lingering with someone who seems rattled â may not naturally emerge in virtual spaces. Leaders cannot, in a sense, trust their instincts.
- Build habits and check-in with colleagues at a regular cadence while revisiting previous conversations. Remember that check-ins, as Simon Sinek has memorably argued, represent an extended dialogue about well-being, not a series of dialogues. Picking up where you left off and calling back to previous points demonstrates thoughtfulness, which is critical to helping workers who likely feel isolated.